Yeah, ‘cause warbling isn’t okay. It’s never, ever, okay… Well, except if you’re Conor Oberst… He can do what he wants… But that’s only because Conor Oberst could fart into a microphone and make it sound like art… Yeah, so – with the important exception of Conor Oberst - warbling is never, ever, okay. Are you listening Matt Bellamy from Muse? Your guitar sounds lovely but you’re doing my head in. And while we’re talking about warbling can we all just take a step back and appreciate how much less irritating Gwen Stefani is now she’s FINALLY stopped doing it? May it be a lesson to you all.

So yeah, Army Of Me’s vocalist Vince Scheuerman likes to warble. It’s not of Bellamy proportions or anything but he does it at the end of most of his sentences in this super subtle but undeniably irritating way. Sometimes it’s almost imperceptible which is kind of even more irritating because you feel like he’s trying to sneak it by you or something.

Honestly though, Army Of Me’s real problem is that they’re just another safe indie band. They’re fine. Y’know. Just… bland. Bland. Like a piece of cheese slapped between two pieces of bread. It’s palatable alright but there’s no real charm or panache there. You ain’t gonna get excited about it y’know? You can tell they like Radiohead (see ‘Watch For Snakes’ for most obvious evidence). And probably Travis and Coldplay (if ‘Saved Your Life’ is anything to go by) and deep down they’re probably aspiring for that Strokes thing, but this just sorely lacking in personality and drive.

And by the end of these five tracks they sound as bored as you feel.

www.armyofmeonline.com

Rae Alexandra, May 13, 2005

Rae Alexandra is a limey. She has been a music journalist and sub editor since 2001, working mainly for the UK’s Kerrang! and Q Magazines. She recently relocated to San Francisco to finish writing a novel about drunken punk rockers. Feel free to send job offers, insults and photos of emo boys to: rae[at]kaffeinebuzz.com.

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