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Pink Spiders Offer to Help Inject Some Rock
'n' Roll Into McCain's Campaign Word
on the street is McCain is taking a little R&R
time over the next few days as the Dems get ready
to rock Obama all the way to the White House this
week. Good thing too, since he was really starting
to age as a result of all the crap shoveling he's
been doing. Plus, he has to catch up on his naps
and have someone remind him of how many houses
he actually owns. Rough.
It also seems like Matt Friction of the Pink
Spiders has noticed that the ads depicting Obama
as the reason for high gases prices or his celebrity
relation to idiots such as Paris Hilton isn't
getting McCain's campaign much traction with the
kids.
In an effort to help the old guy and level the
rock 'n' roll playing field, he crafted this very
generous offer and letter to McCain's senior advisor.
It was mighty big of him we think, so we thought
we'd pass it along for your reading pleasure.
Taking the Pink Spiders as an example, maybe
you too can do your part by helping an elderly
person across the street or calling your grandparents
once in a while, and not just when you want money.
Just don't offer to drive them to the voting booth
if they're Republican. We're just kidding! Jeez...
Steve Schmidt, McCain 2008 Senior Advisor
P.O. Box 16118
Arlington, VA 22215
info@johnmccain.com
Sen. John McCain
United States Senate
241 Russell Senate Office Building
Washington, DC 20510
August 19, 2008
Dear Senator McCain,
We were bummed to hear that Jackson Browne recently
sued you over your use of his song "Running
on Empty" in a campaign ad. We, The Pink
Spiders, think it's uncool that someone would
try and mess with your quest for total Republican
world domination. Here's the thing: most 18-30-year-olds
have no idea who the hell that guy is. I mean,
has his song ever been on MTV's Total Request
Live? Or an iPod commercial? We think not.
That said, we understand your genius in using
contemporary music to reflect your concerns for
your constituency, and we figured we could help
you out by letting you use one of our ultra-popular
smash hits for your next campaign ad. We're young
and good-looking, something your campaign could
use a dose of.
Take, for example, our new single "Gimme
Chemicals." This one speaks directly to many
of the issues that your voters care about: a national
health care system, medical insurance reform,
and especially the skyrocketing costs of the many
prescription pharmaceuticals that folks your age
are known to take in mass quantities. We all know
how much you senior citizens like to party with
those "little blue pills," right?
And if that song doesn't catch your attention,
there's plenty more from our brand new record,
Sweat It Out (for release on Sept. 23), that pretty
much speak for themselves in telling voters what
to expect from a McCain Presidency: "Here
Comes Trouble," "Settling For You,"
"Stranglehold," "Trust No One,"
and "Falling With Every Step." Isn't
it a crazy coincidence that pretty much ALL of
our songs work for your campaign? Wow. See for
yourself -- click here to preview all our tracks.
The Pink Spiders and John McCain: it's a match
made in heaven. With our help, we think you'll
be elected Supreme Emperor of America with no
Sweat.
Rock on, (as Paris Hilton said) "old grey-haired
dude!"
Love,
Matt Friction &
The Pink Spiders
For more information, visit:
www.thepinkspiders.com
www.adrenalinemusicgroup.com/Artists/ThePinkSpiders.php
(full album stream)
-Posted by: Kim Owens
Reader mail can go to sarah.jaffe-at-gmail.com.
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